Speak for yourself

I occasionally watch the news. The operative word is occasionally because, I don't do it on purpose. You see, when I go into the garage to have a smoke, the news is usually on the TV. And usually, the anchor will say something that will piss me off to no end, which is why I don't watch the news on purpose.

Now, I know what you're thinking: why don't you just change the channel? I would. But, I'm also a lazy bum and don't feel like walking up to the TV to change the channel to one of the latest reality shows.

Anyway, my latest rants on the news are these:

A few weeks ago that hot teacher violated her probation (or parole, I dunno I wasn't really listening) and before the story aired, they showed the mobile phone clip she sent....I'm glad I was watching then, but then the anchorman had to ruin it by talking in the first place, and then saying something along the lines of "you won't believe what you hear" and "it will shock you". To that I yelled at the TV, (because I knew he would hear me I suppose), "Bull shit! How do you know what I'll believe or will shock me?"

Then this morning, they found human remains in the park. The media is camped out in front of the family of a girl who has been missing for quite some time. Here's what that brainiac told me this morning: "There are over 500 people missing in this area, so the remains could be anybody."

Wrong! Rocket scientist. They don't belong to me. And if I had to hazard a guess I would say it's possible they could be one of those 500 missing, but then again what if they're remains from somewhere else and they just got dumped here. I'm sure that's what he meant, so maybe I'll just leave alone now.