How NOT to pick up chicks

I am no expert at playing the field. In fact, rejection ought to be my middle name. (I'm currently filling out the paperwork).

Here's some pretty common sense advice about what not to do. Sadly enough, I have done most of it, thinking the whole time I was suave.

• Call them dames, chicks, broads, sluts and so on (sure some dig this, but they are psychos)
• Call them psychos
• Call them way too much (this also applies to email and text and instant messaging)
• Bad mouth other people. This shows arrogance, not confidence.
• Act like a "metro-sexual". They see through this. Stick with the gruff.
• Look like a lumber jack. Maybe at least try to care about your apperance (contradictive, huh? Welcome to the female mind. They're crazy what can I tell you?)
• Agree with everything she says....
• Tell her she doesn't sweat much for a fat chick.
  
• And my all time personal favorite: when she kisses you, tell her that her breath stinks.