Nightmares

I'm one of the few people I know who actually remember my dreams. Usually, they are so sinister and heavily dosed with what I'm dealing with in real life that they leave me feeling discontent when I wake up. I pretty much have a nightmare every night, and 9 times out of 10 it's about my real life. No wonder I'm an insomniac and need sleeping pills.

It's like my real life often feels surreal, but my dreams are so vivid that I feel like they're actually happening. Maybe my sub-conscious is trying to tell me not just something, but a lot.

Oddly enough though I wouldn't catagorize the dream I had last night as a nightmare, even though it started that way and had all the comprising elements in place to make it qualify as one.

I'm not going to try and blow smoke up anyone's ass and try to make it seem that I'm a bad ass.

I have a hero complex and usually in my dreams I come through valiantly. However, this dream last night wasn't a dream of anything that happened before, such as a flash back. I sometimes have dreams about events a week ahead of time, and this one was too illogical of a scenerio to be some future event. But, the point is, I ended up being a pascifist, although that's really just a euphimism for coward.

Now that's scary. Not quite a nightmare, but it did leave an un-easy feeling when I woke up.