Susceptible to the female persuasion

I'm damn proud of myself as of late. The old me would instantly do just about anything a chick suggested if I thought it would get me some tail. Not now, my friends. Now the only stupid advice I take is my own.

Following is an example of THEN:

HER: "I think you should cut your hair on a whim this instant even though you've been growing it out for 14 months...."

ME: "Ok, do you have any scissors?"

And NOW: (replete with translation)

HER: "I think you should cut your hair on a whim this instant even though you've been growing it out for 14 months...." TRANSLATION: "I know we're not dating, but I still want to change you. Actually, I want to test you. If you cut your hair I will never date you because you are such a pushover. I need a strong man. One to protect me. It will be interesting to see if I have power over you or not. If you don't cut your hair I'll just want you more, blah....blah....blah....blah...."

ME: Stock answer number one: "Only if you cut yours first"
Stock answer number two: "Am I gonna get some pussy out of this?"
Stock answer number three: "What? Are you completely nuts?"
Stock answer number four: "Fuck NO!"

And gentlemen, if you're old ball and chain complains about you growing a beard (Ah, see I mentioned it again) tell the fat crusty bitch that she can grow her own if it suits her.

Then again, maybe you shouldn't take dating advice from a single guy.