Drinking and drugging

Here's what I miss about my drinking and drugging days:

• Lightning fast math skills at closing time. ("Yeah dude, it's too late to make it to the liqour store and we didn't think far enough ahead to buy booze before coming to the bar at happy hour, so let's buy a case at the bar. It's like $45 bucks but it's a deal! You got ten in, I got five, she's got ten, here's another ten, pony up another three bucks dude and we're set!)

• Good judgement. (If she's a 2 at 10, she'll be a 10 at 2)

• Always having an alibi. (i.e, "Man, I was so wasted last night. Sorry I fucked your girlfriend dude. I don't remember a thing.")

• Smoking someone eles' weed even though you have plenty of your own.

• Puking! (This can be fun. You can puke in odd places and leave your mark. Fish tanks, chicks' purses, the case of beer in the fridge, just get creative and make it work for you)

Here's what I don't miss about my drinking and drugging days:

• Hang overs.
  

• Being broke.

• DUIs

• Waking up with the 2 that I thought was a 10.

• Taking a shit and having the urge to puke at the same time. (Serious fuckin' dilema).

• Busted knuckles or busted nose.

• Red eyes.