Losing My Fucking Mind

I must be losing my fucking mind. I finally caved and cut my hair a couple of days ago. I lasted exactly 7 months to the day with out a hair cut. It does look more professional, as I'm hoping to fill the supervisor position soon.

I do still have the bangs down to my mouth, so it's not a total waste of time and effort. Regardless of the outcome, either getting the job or not, I'm going to start growing the beard and hair back at some point.

I was going to originally go in with long hair, it would exude confidence, is what I thought. Then I started mind fucking myself over and over thinking about the "What if?" game. I decided that it is, after all only hair, and it looked like shit, and didn't really take that long to grow, why not cut it.

Besides, I think this is just a passing phase to remind me why I was growing my hair in the first place. Much like when I accidently "knicked" my beard off.

Oh well, it will be semi-long again by Christmas.

Delusions

Ah, when will this madness stop? I keep saying I'll change but I only make modicum amounts of progress before I revert back to my old snake like ways. I'm thinking about just getting off the rock and roll express all together as of late. The more I try to hold on to my old ideals the more it conflicts with me. It was an amazing ride this last decade, but Keith Richards I am not.

I do beleive I'll chop the "awkward phase/semi respectable rock and roll length hair" tommorrow and live in the society I used to backlash as carbon copy denziens lived carbon copy existences. Fucking the world, fucking society, fucking the system is a sure fire way to get yourself fucked as I have proven to myself over and over again. I never crumbled the fascist, tyranical, corporate, societal or governmental principles and organizations I had my disagreeances with in my misled, uninformed and illogical youth. Hell, I didn't even make a dent.

That's why I hated the end of SLC Punk. Because slowly but surely I knew that eventually I would have to put the banner down and grow up. I think it's time now. I'm 26 years old, and I don't even like "punk rock" or even most "rock" these days.

Here comes the midlife crisis. I'm now officially a dinosaur and I pass the torch on to whomever is stupid enough to accept it.