Shot Down and Dropped Like a Fat Chick at Prom

Well, after my long winded and pathetic asseveration of my love for Alicia Silverstone, I am sad to admit that she has not replied yet. Not a phone call, an email or a comment telling me to go play in traffic.

I know you're out there reading this, Alicia. Why won't you respond to me? Please respond soon. Every passing minute gets worse.


--your knight in rusty armor